diary <3

a small place for me to write my thoughts . if you somehow manage to find this as someone who knows me irl, turn back now !!!
ps - i'll also be writing updates here for the time being , maybe i'll make it a seprate page at one point

i swear the days r going so fast and blending in and stuff its like its one massive loop?? idk. i'm tired. merry christmas i guess

woah ; it's been a while. my life in the past few weeks has kinda gone to shit :( legally had to let one of my cousins move in and then he moved back out within a matter or days - i've been messing up every relationship i have and i'm just generally tired. it's like, 1 am at the time that i'm writing this so excuse any typos. i feel like the days go by so slow but so fast at the same time?

i broke yesterday- i've always lied to my friends about my mental health issues because i don't want to worry them, but yesterday i had taken my anger and pent up emotions out on my friends and blocked them all. i felt awful about it afterwards, everything has been cleared up now but i feel like they don't actually forgive me. honestly, i wouldn't forgive me either.

my paranoia is getting worse; i'm not sure what to do. i can't shake the feeling that my closest friend is sick of me.

feeling meh. not even sure how to describe it anymore, i just feel void of emotion. that's really it for the diary aspect; i've added this page and hopefully i'll add some more pages in a few hours ^-^